The Lady, or the Tiger?
by Kyrene once Blood Roses
Summary: I want to stay with you forever' she tells me. And what is forever? To this 16 year old girl? What is forever? To this 27 year old married man' AU KKT Oneshot


A/N: I hate myself…I have never read a fic like this, never wanted too…And than, one day listening to a Vanessa Carlton cd (who knows how this happened) this fic was born. I wanted to kill myself when I got the idea. But I think it didn't turn out so bad

Disclaimer: I don't own Rurouni Kenshin or the short story _The Lady or the Tiger_.

WARNING: If you don't like Tomoe, this may not be the fic for you. Also, probably a lot of OOC…definitely a lot…This IS an A/U. Aaaand, I just used some of the short story's basis…It really has nothing to do with it when you think about it…O.o

**_There is a story I once knew. _**

_**A story that I've always loved, ever since the first time I've heard it.**_

**_The funny part is, I've never actually remembered the way it was meant to be told. In my mind it has been changed many times, molded into how I thought it should be, how it could be._**

_**In my mind the story is about a man who must make a life changing decision. There is no lover that will make it for him, although he may wish there was. **_

_**No, this is about a man who must make a choice.**_

_**

* * *

**_

I am not a strong man.

I never have been, even as I slaughtered the many men unfortunate enough to come into my path. That wasn't strength; it was doing what you're told.

No, I have always been a weak man.

Unable to control my own life, unable to make the people around me happy. Not even my own wife. I tried, and for a long time I succeeded.

For she deserved all the happiness I could try and give her. I stole her away from her family, taking her hostage for being a witness. And in response she took me away from death and destruction, awoke a happiness I never thought was possible. She tamed the beast inside me, brought me sanity.

In turn I devoted myself to the task of making her happy. I left the life I once knew, took us both away from the life that caused both of us such sorrow. Giving her everything that I was, my body, my heart, my very soul.

We lived a happy quiet life. I went to school and left with a teaching degree. Anything to support her, give her a comfortable life. She was able to do the many things she enjoyed at home; I brought the money in so she could do so.

I took care of her just as she took care of me. It was a happy life…

…A fragile life…

…I have never been a strong man…

That is why just one woman, one girl, was able to completely tear down the world we had so carefully created.

* * *

The second you see her, you know your life is over.

She is innocent, and with innocence comes temptation.

She appeals to the darkest part of your mind, the part that hasn't been touched in 11 years.

Sometimes in this dark realm of your mind, you fantasize about tainting that innocence. Taking her as your own, tasting that body until you know her from the inside out.

Everyday you stare, and everyday she looks. A strong attraction entwines itself around the two of you. She becomes your obsession.

She is everything you didn't know you were missing. She is forbidden territory. Dangerous yet appealing at once. She is the forbidden apple that will exile you from Eden forever.

A student in your history class. 11 years younger. 16. A minor. Illegal. And most importantly, not your wife.

* * *

Fantasies are meant to be exactly that, a fantasy. Something that you dream of but can never truly happen in the real world.

She is meant to be just a fantasy. A little insignificant infatuation that will go away with time. Perhaps I just need to spend more time with my wife, our sex life does seem to be lacking lately.

It's the only thing that makes sense in the situation. I love my wife. She is the most beautiful creature that I have ever laid my eyes on. Her beauty comes from her very soul…

Than why? Why can I only see that girl? She calls to me, haunting my dreams, my nightmares, my every thought.

She beckons me, ever watching me with those innocent blue eyes. She waits for me to make my move, waits for me to take her.

There is a beast inside me, a beast waiting to break free of its confinements. Wishing to disregard all thoughts of morals and betrayal.

She calls to me.

And I am afraid that I am not strong enough to resist.

* * *

_October 5_

_It's been a month, and his behavior has become stranger and stranger. Something is troubling him, this I know for a fact._

_Yet, why can he not come to me? When has this wall rebuilt itself between us?_

_I'm afraid my husband is becoming a different person. The thought that he was reverting back to the person he once was crossed my mind…But that's not it. He was not so different then, he was more or less the same…_

_This man…He is becoming a stranger to me. He was once so gentle with me, treating me as if I was a doll. A tender lover…_

_He does not do me harm. He gives me pleasure still…Yet he's become wild, as if there is a beast waiting to break from its restraints. _

_And I fear…that I may be a stranger to him as well. When he looks at me it's as if he's looking at someone else. When we make love I wait and dread for the day that it is not my name that he calls._

_

* * *

_

A girl's first kiss is meant to be an innocent, special occurrence. Both parties still unsure of themselves, guessing as to what is to be done.

This kiss…It was everything but. It was wild and filled with passion. I led her and she followed, quickly learning what she was to do. I was finally able to get my hands on her, to taste her…

It was an accident.

None of this was meant to happen. The attraction was meant to be just that, an attraction. Nothing more…

I am breaking…She is breaking me. This path can only lead to a world of pain and deceit, a world I have long since left. I must end this before it begins, I must stay away from her.

………And yet………It's already begun. Just one kiss and I am already addicted. I know I will taste her again; I'll go mad if I don't.

Her many first experiences should be with a person just as pure and innocent as herself. A person who will learn with her, who will love her with all their being…

Instead she will have me.

* * *

_**There was once a man who lived a happy, simple life. **_

_**He lived with a wife who did most for him, and in turn he supported her and loved her. **_

_**Life was happy…Until the tiger came.**_

_**Every time he had a chance the man would search for the tiger, each time getting into a dangerous situation. Nearing death many a time.**_

**_And yet…he became addicted. Addicted to the adrenaline that he felt, addicted to the danger._**

**_

* * *

_**

We are careless, yet we do not care.

Neither of us can keep our hands at our sides when the other is near. The 45 minutes of my history class seems to go on for hours, especially when she is in it.

After class she stays behind, we go into my tiny office. Sometimes we can't even wait to leave the building. I'll take her right there on the hard wooden desk.

From there we'll leave for a hotel, always at least a half an hour from our town. I take her in the bed which is already tainted by many others.

_I_ taint her.

The lust and the guilt is overwhelming me. Like it did once before, accept not for blood, but for her.

She deserves better, she deserves to live her teenage life. I am pushing her into a spiral of deceit, lust, and pain.

I will destroy her.

* * *

The second you taste her, you know that you are evil.

You stole her innocence, pushing your filth deep inside of her. Defiling her sweet and innocent body. Corrupting her with your sin.

You're destroying her life.

Killing her innocent mind.

Pushing the rotting hole in your chest on her pure and honest mind.

You are the only one who can end this.

And yet you refuse.

And you don't even care.

* * *

_December 15_

_There's something terribly wrong. _

_It's as if he's completely left me. Completely detached, living each day like a mystery._

_I haven't slept in days. For fear, for worry. He comes home so late these days, sometimes I wait for the phone to ring, bringing news of my husband's death. Other days I just look at my apartment. All of our memories flying through my brain…Wondering where my life has gone._

_We haven't made love in weeks. He barely even touches me. God, he barely even looks at me! _

_Where has my husband gone? What does he do that keeps him away from me at night? What have I done?_

_Sometimes I think that if I didn't know my husband any better I may need to fear for the worst._

_And than it dawns on me._

_I don't know the man that I've been sharing a bed with these past few weeks. He's not the man that I gave up everything for. He's not the man who gave up all his dreams for me. _

_Please, God, if you're listening. Give me my husband back…_

_

* * *

_

_**He began to live a double life.**_

_**One with his wife, his beautiful wife who was everything a lady should be. And he was the dutiful husband.**_

_**The other he became a barbaric hunter. He became bloodthirsty with only one way to satisfy his thirst. He was a savage searching for his prey.**_

**_Yet double life's can never end with happy endings._**

_**A choice must always be made.**_

_**

* * *

**_

It's funny, how three little words can mean so much.

Sometimes I can barely understand it…How can three words, three insignificant words, express such strong emotions? Mean so much? Do so much?

………Change so much………

"_Sometimes…I wish we didn't have to part so early."_

Three little words…it's all it took…

"_It's not even that early…But I guess I can agree with you on that."_

"……………_No……………I don't think you can."_

"………_What's wrong?"_

"_It's nothing. I just………I lo-"_

Just three little words…

"_We should probably get out of here. It's getting late, they'll start to worry about you."_

"_They always will, won't they? Always worry, never knowing where I am…"_

"_Are…are you having regrets?"_

"_NO!...I just………" _So low, barely even a whisper. "_I want to stay with you forever." _A tear streaked face. "_I love you."_

The most simple things can occur, and they can make the most earth shattering differences.

"I want to stay with you forever" she tells me. And what is forever? To this 16 year old girl? What is forever? To this 27 year old married man?

I promised forever to another, my wife, and I am still determined to keep that promise………

"I want to stay with you forever" she told me "I love you."

And I couldn't help but think………

**I can wait for you forever.**

This needs to end.

* * *

You left her standing there. Pouring her heart out to you.

What else could you do? What answer could you give her?

You don't love her…Or so you try to convince yourself. Because in truth you don't know. You've only ever loved one woman in your life, and you ended up devoting your whole life to her.

Is love truly so fragile? Can it really be given away so easily?

No, you care for this girl, but the relationship is truly based off of sex. What you feel for your wife and what you feel for the girl are two very different things.

Than why is she such a necessity?

You lie to yourself. You won't admit to yourself that you don't understand the difference between the feelings you have for your wife and your lover.

And the proof?

You don't end it. Although you do try, it's just not enough.

Unfortunetly you are a weak and pathetic man…A selfish man.

Every day you watch as your lover and your wife disinigrate before your eyes. You have stolen their hearts, their lives, and you refuse to give them back.

You are a selfish man…A careless man…

A stupid man.

* * *

We are having a dance in the gym of our school. I am a chaperone. My wife was supposed to come, but it would seem that she can't make it.

So here I am, left alone with her. So many easy escapes right in front of us. So many places we can run off to.

I'm trying to stop this. To rid myself of this addiction. But it's become too easy. The lies flow out of my mouth so naturedly.

We barely even hide ourselves, my lust taking over my sanity. In the back of the school, against the brick building. Her dress bunches up around her thighs as her legs wrap around my waist.

I close my eyes and move, not caring how hard or how rough I am. She has left my company with many bruises and scrapes. Mostly from being pressed against hard surfaces, from my tight grip, from my mouth.

Yet she doesn't care, this I know. For she is strong and she has left me with many of my own bruises.

Bruises I have kept hidden from my wife…

But all this is pushed from my mind at this moment. I become the beast again, no care as I continue to thrust myself deep inside of her.

Nothing can interrupt these moments of complete and total lust.

* * *

_**The man's game is a dangerous one. **_

_**A game that was meant to be lost.**_

_**For one day, the lady tires of her husband's absence from her life. She decides to follow him, curious as to why he constantly left her side.**_

…

**_When she sees him, a savage beast, her breath catches in her throat. She had never seen this side of the man she loves…Never feared for his life as much as she did at that moment._**

_**Never feared for her life as she did at that moment.**_

_**When she returns home she decides that she cannot have him living this life. He would need to choose.**_

_**A sweet safe life with his wife, or death by the hands of the tiger.**_

_**

* * *

**_

You don't notice her in her violet gown. She left her friends early, in order to show up at the dance…In order to please you.

Your wife has cried only once since the time that you met her. For she is not a woman who show's emotions so easily.

Yet one would never know this if they saw her at this moment.

She leaves you in your passion.

A trail of tears in her wake.

* * *

_January 4_

_He has betrayed me._

_Taken away my life…my happiness…_

_Again._

_I should leave him, for my sanity and for my pride. I should walk away and make my decent back to my home…A place I had left over 11 years ago. _

………_But I know I can't……_

_Not that easily._

_I have given up so much for him. How can I disregard all those years of hardships? All those years of confusion? How can I completely disregard the life that we so carefully built together?_

_I love him, with all my heart and soul…And I need him. _

_When he returns I will give him his choices._

_Tonight we end this game that he has been playing for who knows how long._

_

* * *

_

_**The task is simple. **_

_**One door holds the lady, the other, the tiger.**_

_**All the man needs to do is choose. **_

_**Life or death?**_

_**

* * *

**_

The second you see her, you know your life is over.

* * *

Cold black eyes.

A long time ago I had thought I'd finally been rid of those eyes…Those dead eyes…

I was wrong.

No explanation is needed. We both know what has happened, why we are standing here…Watching each other, not sure of what to say.

It seems like forever…And than…her lips part.

"…_Until death parts us…That's what you said when we decided to leave that life. Until death parts us. I married you because I love you. Because despite all we went through, I wanted you to make up for the life that I lost. Melt the ice that had surrounded itself around my heart……And than……When spring finally came…You brought on another winter."_

You won't listen. Not to a word I say. What can I say? I'm sorry? It would never be enough………

"_Where do we go from here? Shall I pack my bags, walk out of your life forever? Just say the word and I'll do whatever you wish."_

Tears…

They quickly wash away your icy exterior. Pain reflecting clearly on your face. I wonder…Does it reflect mine? No…Your pain is pure, mine is tainted with guilt.

"_You took my happiness away from me once………Will you take it away from me again?"_

_

* * *

_

Another chance.

She's going to give you another chance. She's refusing to allow you to change her life again. Refusing to have her happiness ripped out of her grasp. She will run away with you again, far away where no one knows you.

You can turn your back on this life…

Turn your back on the girl…

This is an easy choice. You can save your marriage, start again. Continue on with your quiet life as if this never happen…

And the girl?

* * *

"_Sometimes…I wish we didn't have to part so early."_

_

* * *

_

Could you truly leave her so easily?

Yes, you think. It would be for the best. She's better off without you.

* * *

"_I want to stay with you forever."_

_

* * *

_

Why try something that could never be?

How would you live? A teacher and his student, a grown man with a minor…It seems so wrong on so many levels.

But…

* * *

"_You took my happiness away from me once………Will you take it away from me again?"_

_

* * *

_

No! There is no future for you there! Your wife needs you, she loves you!

Your each other's rock, the person to lean on. You keep each other from falling into the deep black hole of despair that will always follow you.

* * *

"_I love you."_

_

* * *

_

So, does that mean you are supposed to create another hole…A hole for your lover, the very definition of innocent?

Does this mean you should live on with your life? Be the victim of a trustless marriage?

There is no easy answer. No easy way out. You can't have it both ways.

Someone must be hurt.

* * *

"_Until death parts us…"_

_

* * *

_

"**I could wait for you forever"**

**

* * *

**

_**Two doors, both equally inviting. **_

_**One holds the continuation of a happy life. **_

_**The other holds mystery, a beginning to a new.**_

_**This man needed to make a decision that would change is life forever…**_

**_So I ask you a question that I've been asking myself since the very first time I heard this story._**

_**Who does this man choose?**_

_**The lady or the tiger?**_

A/N:…………, did you really expect an answer? If you did I'm sorry. You can interpret this however you want. I was actually thinking about making this a chapter fic at first…But I changed my mind. If I had it would've been more involved in Kaoru and Kenshin's relationship though…And I know who he would've chosen.

It just seemed like in this fic most would've went with Kaoru and Kenshin right away, I wanted to make it harder by giving the wife a personality. I figure since Tomoe is always with her handy dandy journal in the manga, why not put it in here?...Alright! So the huge age difference and the teacher/student thing would probably have something to do with it too!...But hey, I lost my morals to fanfiction, I'd imagine someone else has too .

If anyone would like to beta or give there input on this fic I'm all for it. I have no problem with bettering it.

Thanx for reading! Please Review!


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